Broken Pieces
by Cinnamon secrets
Summary: Lancelot could be the villain in their story, if that brings happiness. Future fic.
1. Broken Pieces

Title: Broken Pieces.

Author: Danyliz

Fandom: Merlin.

Characters/Pairing: Gwen/Arthur and Merlin/Lancelot. Eventually Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot.

Rating: PG-15

Summary: Lancelot could be the villain in their story, if that brings happiness. Future fic.

AN: Reposted already betaed. Thanks to the amazing **Anbessette** for helping me with this. I hope I can bribe you into working with me again ;).

Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC, the fantasies are all mine. 

**Broken pieces.**

Lancelot observes Merlin carefully. He is standing next to Arthur, looking calm and serious. Of course, the knight knows better. But just seeing him there, as the almighty court magician, makes Lancelot wonder about his friend. He seems happy; he still has his head after everybody discovered his gift. Arthur sometimes jokes about how good the fact that Merlin has magic is, and whether Camelot is now in more danger with a clumsy and very rude magician. That's something unique about their king. He has a dark sense of humor, often confused with arrogance. For Merlin, it is just arrogance. Still, Lancelot wonders… Is Merlin happy?

Because Lancelot is not happy. He loves someone who is forbidden. The king's fiancée, no less. Lady Guinevere, the most beautiful woman in all Camelot (at least in Lancelot's eyes) is the girl that Arthur finally chose to marry. And in that moment, the knight felt divided between his heart and his duty. Of course, his duty won. He is a knight. The king's first knight. His loyalty is above everything.

And with Arthur and Gwen getting married, Merlin and Lancelot are the ones left behind. Once married, Arthur will be seeking his wife's advice more than Merlin's. At least in subjects that do not require magic. It is a natural transition and Lancelot wonders if Merlin is as miserable as he is, but hiding it better.

Merlin was the first person in Camelot who had faith in him. And Lancelot cares about Merlin. Even if he looks no different from the teenager he met years ago, Merlin is now a grown and wise man. Except with the king. Those two always act like children when they are alone. Of course, they trust Lancelot enough to let him witness the witty jokes and the "prat" and "idiot" exchange now and then. This is the reason why Lancelot thinks that Merlin will miss the king the most.

Lancelot likes Merlin. He is a nice, kind man, and also handsome in a way. It would have been easier if he was in love with him. But apparently Camelot is the land of forbidden love. He loves Gwen. And he sure knows that the girl loves him back. But Arthur is the king, and Gwen loves him too. Her loyalty is to the king. Like his own.

Finally the meeting is over, and Merlin looks at him like he knows what he was thinking about instead of listening to what the other knights said. Well, it's not like they said anything important, after all. Everyone is talking about the wedding lately, and that is the last thing that Lancelot wants to discuss.

"If you'll excuse us, your highness, Lancelot and I need to talk about a few things."

If Arthur is surprised, he doesn't show any sign of it.

"That's a first. Should I be worried about the respectful way in which you address me?"

"Don't get used it. I promised Gwen that I'll be nice to you until the wedding. And you should not push your luck, _your highness._"

"And here I though you finally understood the easy concept of me being the king, and you being the court magician."

"Come on Lancelot. I'm grateful that you are still nice, even after being around Arthur so much. I was worried about his influence on you."

"I could say the same, Merlin. And you are far worse than me."

"Really? How come?"

"You are not as handsome as I am, and you are not the king."

"Oh, that decides it." Merlin rolled his eyes.

Lancelot is used to this. He feels like he belongs to a very noisy and strange family. And he is grateful that they feel comfortable enough to let him see them as themselves, and not just as the king and the court magician.

"We better go, Lancelot, before Arthur here decides that green is his color."

"Is that a threat? Let me guess… you are turning me… into… a toad. I think that one is the only spell you've got right so far."

"Prat".

That settles it. Whenever one of them glares indignantly, saying "prat" or "idiot", it is because the discussion is over.

As Lancelot follows Merlin down the corridor, he catches a glimpse of Arthur's eyes seeing them disappear. He has no idea what Merlin wants to talk about with him, but at least he took him out of that room filled with happiness over the wedding. It only makes Lancelot ashamed of his bitterness.

"I just thought that you wanted to get out of there, Lancelot." Merlin stops in front of the window, smiling.

Was he that obvious?

"Of course, I only noticed it because I know you. And I know about your feelings for Gwen. I assume that you don't want to hear about the wedding".

"It's fine. I just have to get used to the idea of…"

"Losing the one you love? And to someone you care for too? I know the feeling."

Lancelot lifts an eyebrow. He never speaks to Merlin about his private life, mostly because Merlin is Arthur's confidant, and Lancelot is Gwen's. It would appear almost like gossiping about their two friends.

"It is difficult on occasion. Seeing them," the knight finally admits.

"This is not something you'll be capable of fighting. This is not an enemy, or a creature you must defeat. This is something inside of you, growing every day. The question is: how long do you think you can control it, before it dominates you?"

"I would never hurt Arthur – I mean, the king."

"It's me, Lancelot, you don't need the protocol. If it makes you more comfortable, I'll refer to him as 'the royal prat'." Merlin winks at him.

"You just want an excuse to say it out loud because Gwen made you promise to behave in front of him," Lancelot smiles lightly.

"Well, she ruined all my fun." That pout in Merlin's lips is cute, in an extravagant way.

And just with that, Lancelot feels better. Talking to Merlin makes him feel supported. He needs that right now.

"Love is by no means something to be ashamed of. It can be destructive, of course, but if it is pure it can also be beautiful, and it helps you form boundaries. And your love for Gwen is pure. Your loyalty to Arthur is strong. You don't need to worry about hurting them. And you don't need to deny your love either. The moment King Arthur forbids loving someone, Camelot will come to an end. He is a prat, but he knows that love is not something people can control. Not even with magic, and believe me, I've tried. You'll never do anything to hurt them because you love them both. That's how pure your feelings are."

"You are very wise, my lord. Is that a requirement for your job, or is it just the speech you use with the ladies?" Arthur is not the only one who can joke with Merlin.

"_My lord_? I almost felt privileged," Merlin smirks "and sometimes I have to at least pretend that I know things. It's how I confuse Arthur most of the time. Don't be concerned about the future, great things are ahead of us. Ahead of Camelot".

Seeing Merlin so confident, Lancelot almost feels like he is with another person. Merlin sometimes still acts like that awkward boy who was all smiles and mysteries. But in moments like this, he looks so much older and wiser. Like he has lived hundred of years.

Lancelot doesn't know why… but he feels like kissing him. Maybe it is because he likes Merlin. Or because he needs to feel someone's lips on his. Just to make him forget. And he decides to stop thinking and do something. Kiss the king's high advisor, or leave and not make a fool of himself.

He leans very slowly, until he is a few centimeters from Merlin's face. Expecting the magician to just move back, Lancelot stands still. But Merlin doesn't move either. Finally, he brushes his lips against Merlin's, and even though he's never kissed a guy before, he imagined that a man's lips would be rough. He is surprised that Merlin's lips are very soft, and they feel good. Very good.

In fact, he has never felt this good kissing someone. Not that he is comparing.

Merlin parts his lips slightly, allowing entrance to Lancelot. He doesn't think twice. He never expected that Merlin was so passionate.

Maybe it's because he likes him, or Merlin has a gift, but that kiss is pure magic to him. He can taste something familiar in Merlin's mouth, but he just can't figure out what it is. At least not when he is feeling this good and his mind can't think of anything else besides how they're moving rhythmically together, like dancing.

Merlin pushes him away gently. His blue eyes are so intense, and he smiles kindly. His lips are red and swollen. He didn't kiss him that hard – or maybe he did, but it felt so good that he didn't pay attention to it.

He is ready to apologize, but Merlin just shakes his head, and passes by Lancelot's side, whispering "No regrets." He follows Merlin with his eyes until he is lost from sight.

And Lancelot finally knows what that taste in Merlin's mouth was. Something that he is very familiar with.

Loneliness.

* * *

The moment Lancelot sees the castle fill with climbing plants, he knows the cause: Merlin. Every event without a logical explanation is because of magic and, of course, Merlin. As he walks to the magician's room, he hears the servants whispering about the troubles with magic, and King Arthur's infinite patience with Merlin. He can't blame them. Even now that Merlin has learned about his magic and how to control it, sometimes things don't go well.

When he arrives to Merlin's room, he can see Arthur is already there. The door is open and Lancelot can listen clearly what they are saying.

"My castle looks like a plant! Care to explain why?"

Arthur doesn't seem angry, even with the harsh tone of his voice.

"It was a gift for Gwen. I just made a little error with the words I chose…"

"_Clearly,_" Arthur snorts "and exactly when do you plan to fix this? I shall remind you that I'm going to get married in four days. I'll not…"

"Yes, yes," Merlin cuts him off "I know the rest of the speech. If I don't fix this, I'll be put in the dungeons without food and other horrible things will happen to me, even though I could easily ward off everything you do. Calm down, if you could stop your complaining for a minute, I could fix it right now."

"I've heard that before."

"Yes. But you keep complaining, basically it's your fault."

"Honestly Merlin, sometimes I think that you are sabotaging my wedding."

Of course Lancelot knew that it was a joke. But Merlin went pale, and even with Arthur smiling at him, he seemed to be lost about how to answer that accusation.

"Is everything well, Sire? The door was open; I hope you don't mind…"

"No, of course not, Lancelot, come in. As you can see, Merlin is trying to prove me how _good_ he is at doing magic. _Again._"

Lancelot sees the gratitude in Merlin's eyes and smiles too.

"And I was saying to his as- I mean, to _the king_ that he always thinks that every little event in the castle is my doing."

"That's because it _IS _usually your doing. Remember the flying objects?"

"That was a miscalculation."

"A knife almost killed me. I sure hope it was a miscalculation. And what about the missing books?"

"I didn't even use magic for that!"

"Exactly my point. You were a danger _without_ magic; I don't think you two mix well."

"Well, you overreact to everything."

"And you are, by far, the worst magician in the world."

Lancelot almost feels like he is the third wheel in a lover's argument. Of course, you need to know Arthur and Merlin to understand the dynamic of their relationship. And as he sees the two of them quarrelling, he observes the smile in Arthur's face. His king is an expressive person. And he has different smiles. Like his kind smile, to Gwen. Or his smirk, for the enemies. But Lancelot doesn't know the meaning of this particular smile.

"If you have everything under control, I'll take my leave then," Lancelot interrupts them, because when they are like this it is difficult to know how long they are going to be exchanging sharp remarks.

"Lancelot, aren't you afraid that Merlin here will try to kill me if you leave me alone with him?" Arthur looks at Lancelot with wide eyes, pretending to be scared.

"My lord, I know the court magician very well. He would never do anything that brought you harm. You have my word on it."

"You are lucky that Lancelot believes in you that much, Merlin. He must see something good in you."

Merlin smiles shyly, fairly blushing. Lancelot thinks that he looks a lot younger.

"Very well Lancelot, if you don't see me in the meeting this afternoon, you'll know that this evil magician did something to me."

"You wish I would do something evil to you, sire."

Lancelot walks out the door and is about to close it when he hears Arthur saying, barely in a whisper, "You know I trust you more than Lancelot, right?"

And then, Lancelot knows the meaning of the smile on the king's face. That smile that only appears with Merlin.

Happiness.

* * *

The first time Lancelot kissed Merlin was mostly an impulse. The next time was because he wanted to help his friend with his loneliness. Eventually their kisses grow, and he knows it is just matter of time before this silent agreement turns into a more – _intense_ relationship, probably after the wedding. That event will bring them closer. He loves Merlin. But not as much as he loves Gwen, and not in the same way. But Lancelot enjoys the touch of Merlin's hands, and his lips. If he is condemned to suffer, Merlin makes that suffering bearable.

Lancelot and Merlin usually cross paths in the hallways, and then from chatting they move on to kissing and touching. They both want it. And they both need it.

What they didn't expect was to be caught by Arthur.

"Am I interrupting you?" the king coughs lightly.

Lancelot freezes in the moment he hears Arthur's voice. Merlin also seems to go blank. They hurriedly tear apart, wondering what to do now.

"I apologize, sire." Lancelot is the first to break the awkward silence.

"Do you need something, Arthur?" Merlin also recovers quickly.

"I was searching for my court magician, since I was in need of him and he is at my service. Should I schedule your getaways to kiss my knights, Merlin?"

"Sire, I…" Lancelot couldn't let Merlin bear the fault in this.

"Of course not, your highness," Merlin interrupts Lancelot. "You were with _your_ fiancée, I didn't think that you would need me at this hour."

"You are not here to make assumptions about when I need you. You are _MY_ servant."

"I beg you pardon?" Merlin stars to get angry.

"You heard me. You are _mine._"

Lancelot suddenly feels like they are not talking about the kiss, but something more.

"Lancelot, if you are quite finished with sucking my servant's face, would you please leave us alone? We need to talk."

Arthur is also angry. Lancelot doubts if he should obey the order. Leaving him with Merlin could be wrong. After all, the both of them are to blame in this situation.

But then Merlin nods and Lancelot knows that he'll be okay. He bows solemnly before turning away from them, murmuring "Sire."

Of course, Lancelot can't go very far. He needs to hear what they are talking about. He is meddling in other people's private conversations, and in any other situation Lancelot would have walked away. However, he has to know if Merlin will be all right. Arthur sometimes is a little harsh with the magician. The last thing Lancelot wants is for Merlin to take all the responsibility.

"What the hell was that?" Lancelot hears Merlin ask.

"That's what I should ask you!"

"Well, I think it was rather obvious! If you don't know what we were doing, I fear for Gwen on the wedding night."

"This is not a joke Merlin! I'm serious! Why were you kissing Lancelot?"

"And exactly why is this any of your business?"

"He is a knight. You are my court magician!"

"Lancelot and I are both mature men, we don't need your permission to do whatever we want with our mouths."

"I couldn't care less about what Lancelot is doing in his spare time!"

"What's the problem, then?"

"You! You are the problem Merlin! I don't want you kissing people! I don't want you kissing someone else. I just want you to kiss me!"

Lancelot almost let his yelp slip out. Merlin and Arthur? For how long?

"We talked about this, Arthur. You are marrying Gwen. You are loyal to your promises. And besides you said that I should find someone too –"

"Well, I didn't think you would find them so soon, and in one of my knights." Arthur sounds defeated.

"I didn't expect it to happen this way either – things just came up like that, we didn't plan it.".

"Please Merlin – I know I ask for too much – but I can't lose you. Even when I can't give you what you deserve, I want you with me. Just with me."

Arthur leans into Merlin, capturing his lips gently. Lancelot can see all the love and devotion in those two. How come he didn't notice it before? It was so obvious ever since they were young, how much they care about each other. Giving up even their lives one for another. All this time Lancelot had the missing piece in the mystery. Merlin and Arthur are in love. But their loyalty to Camelot and duty to the people are breaking them apart.

"All you had to do was ask, you prat!" Merlin smiles sadly.

"But I'm selfish – and stubborn –"

"Well, yeah, I'm glad that you admitted it at least once. Nevertheless, I love you. And I know that you are not doing this for entertainment. You don't want to hurt me, or Gwen for that matter. I'm all right with being by your side, even if it gets lonely sometimes."

Lancelot has heard enough. As he turns around to leave them alone, he catches a glimpse of another kiss between them. Now he understands everything, and at the same time he feels like this is not worth it. He loves Gwen and his feelings are returned. Merlin and Arthur share a strong bond of love and care. Yet Arthur will marry Gwen. And he and Merlin comfort each other. They are miserable for the good of the kingdom.

Camelot is the land of forbidden love indeed.

* * *

Every story needs a villain. That's why Arthur is the most heroic king in the history of Camelot. He defeats the ones who bring harm and Camelot is safe with him in charge. Of course, his deceased father did a good job as well. Arthur learned everything from his father. However, after Uther died, Merlin told Arthur the truth about his magic. And the new king of Camelot decided that changes had to be made for the greater good. Merlin became court magician and high adviser. With that announcement people finally understood why Merlin was so weird all the time. Well – that really hasn't changed that much.

As the wedding approaches, Lancelot is divided between what he knows and what he must do. Merlin decided to be there for Arthur, not expecting anything in return. Lancelot understands that – after all, it is what he is doing with Gwen. But it doesn't seem fair. Merlin has been with Arthur for years with devotion and loyalty. Why can't the good guy get his happy ending?

And with Merlin's happy ending, Lancelot could be with Gwen. But Arthur needs an heir. He needs to get married, to secure Camelot's future. Lancelot wonders – Could Merlin transforms himself into a girl? If he can turn people into toads, why not turn into a girl?

These are just silly thoughts. He would never suggest anything of the sort to Merlin. Even though Merlin practically is a girl. He is slim and pale. With beautiful eyes. Maybe the only thing off is his ears, but that's part of his charm. Merlin could have been a beautiful girl. Better for Arthur than Gwen.

Sometimes love can make you think the weirdest things.

Lancelot has to check on Gwen once a day. It's his duty to see that the future queen is well and provide anything she could need. There was a time when Lancelot questioned this particular task. It was torture to be in the same room with the woman you love and yet can't touch. On the brighter side, he gets to see her every day. It's better to see and not touch than to have nothing at all, even when this breaks his heart day by day.

"Come in."

When Lancelot enters the future queen's room, the last thing he was expecting to see is Merlin. In a wedding dress. Looking like a girl indeed. Maybe the warlock had read his mind and decided it was a very good idea.

"Ahm – my ladies?"

"Ha, ha, very funny," Merlin frowns. "I'm just doing Gwen a favor, don't get snarky with me."

Lancelot sees Gwen standing right next to Merlin, smiling. Her beautiful smile and her bright eyes. He hardly is able to contain himself from taking her in his arms and never letting her go. Lancelot resists the urge to grip his chest tightly as he feels a pang of sadness overwhelm him.

"My dress needs a few adjustments. And Merlin kindly agreed to be my model since I have to make the arrangements in two days or I'll look ridiculous."

"My lady, I can send a maid to help you. You don't need to keep doing … this kind of work."

"I like to do these things by myself, Lancelot. I know Arthur wants me to be as useless as possible, but I'm capable of fixing my own wedding dress, don't you agree?"

"Of course, I never doubted that."

It was the only thing in which Gwen and Arthur strongly disagreed. Arthur wants Gwen to stop doing things that maids are responsible for. Gwen reminds him that she was a maid, and she likes to do things her herself without needing to trouble other people.

"Besides, when else would I have an opportunity to see Merlin in a dress? He is just adorable."

"I know I look silly."

"Lancelot, what do you think? Isn't Merlin a beautiful bride?"

And the thoughts about Merlin being a girl are back in Lancelot's mind.

"Indeed."

"If you two are done with your jokes, I would like to take off this thing."

"Oh, no, wait a moment; I still have to make a few changes."

"My lady, are you well? Do you need anything?" Lancelot decides to ask about his duty, in order to let the two of them alone.

"Yes, actually, can you lift Merlin a little bit by the waist? I need to measure the dress, and I don't want him floating around. You know what happened last time."

Last time Merlin intended to float, he ended up in the stable. Arthur found it hilarious. Merlin decided that floating wasn't his thing after all.

"I resent that. I was learning." Merlin looks indignant.

"Did you keep practicing?"

"Well – no. But that's not the point!"

"It certainly is the point. I don't want my dress all dirty."

"That's what I get for trying to help."

"Very well. Excuse me my lady, I'm going to take you gently by the waist and –"

"Funny, Lancelot. Just do it. This couldn't get more embarrassing."

"Aren't you a beautiful bride, Merlin? You'll make someone a lucky husband one day," Gwen smiles broadly while she pins the bottom of the dress.

Arthur enters the room, approaching them with a smile at the scene. Lancelot tries to remain calm, but the knight can see the flash of jealousy reflected in his king's eyes.

"Arthur! You are not supposed to be here! It's bad luck for you to see the bride!"

"Well, if I was to get married to _Merlin_, it'd be bad luck for sure! I was wondering where my court magician, my best knight and my fiancée were. Besides, darling, it's almost time for the banquet."

"I'll just do some arrangements to the dress, and then they'll be all yours."

Lancelot notices the small smile on Arthur's face. Sadness.

"Merlin, don't do anything stupid."

"Is that an order, sire?" Merlin smirks.

"It should be common sense, but in your case, yes, it's an order."

The room suddenly became silent. The playful environment was broken by the serious tone in Arthur's voice. His comment almost felt like a warning for all the people in there.

"Well – " Gwen tries to ease the tension "I'm almost done Arthur, you should –"

"Yes, yes, I'm going back to the dinning hall."

"I should go too –"

"Of course Lancelot, you can put Merlin down; I don't need him in your arms any more."

Gwen saw the look on her future husband's face. She knows that Arthur's heart belongs to someone else, but that still doesn't mean that she is not hurt by all the unhappiness around them. They are drowning in their decisions. And not even Merlin's magic can save them this time.

Slowly Lancelot lets go of Merlin, stepping aside. No more jokes or laughs. The room is full with despair and sadness.

Arthur and Lancelot leave the room in complete silence. Lancelot has felt awkward around his king since the kiss incident. It's worse now that he knows how the king feels about Merlin.

"I forgot my sword –" he says finally, noticing the blade missing from his waist.

Arthur looks at him lightly and only nods. Lancelot takes that as permission to go and get it.

Lancelot is about to knock on the door when he hears Merlin's voice.

"It's not fair to you, Gwen. You deserve better." The magician was raising his voice with every word he said.

"Better than the king? I highly doubt that I could get someone who beats Arthur."

"You know what I meant. He acts like an idio-"

"What did I tell you about insulting my future husband?"

"He's not even here! And he deserves it, the idiotic prat! We all know this marriage is something we have to do and accept, and yet he acts like a child, just because Lancelot and I –"

Lancelot doesn't hear a sound, but he is sure that Merlin's face must be very flustered.

"I know that this is hard, Merlin. You love him, and he is going to marry me. Sometimes I wonder if you will hate me in the future."

"I could never hate you, Gwen. I love you."

"You say that now. But when you see your happiness taken away from you, it's only a matter of time before the resentment starts to grow."

"How about you? Are you going to hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because Lancelot and I –"

"If the things were different – If Arthur wasn't the king, and Lancelot wasn't the high knight, we could all be with the ones we love. But we are not in a perfect world. Promise me, Merlin. We are going to stay together, no matter what. Always."

"I can't promise you that, Gwen."

"So it's true, then. You are going away after the wedding."

"How did you know?"

"I heard you talking with Leon about going away so you can learn more about your magic. Does Arthur know?"

"No. Honestly, I'm planning on going away without telling him."

"He would never forgive you for that."

"He would never let me go if I didn't do it this way. However, I can promise you this: I´ll return."

"How long are you going to be away?"

"I don't know. You understand why I have to go, right?"

"Yes. I just wish that things could be different."

Lancelot walks away, his sword soon forgotten. He didn't know that Merlin was planning on going away. He can understand this too. It's painful enough to lose the one you love. But to see that person with someone else, and know that this person loves you back, is like living in a nightmare everyday.

Every story needs a Villain. Lancelot could be the villain if that could bring happiness eventually.


	2. No Happy Ending

A/N: Thanks to the brilliant and amazing **Anbessette** who is helping me with the beta.

**No Happy Ending**

Lancelot felt like Merlin was following him. He bumped into the magician at every turn, but he only smiled and pretended to be oblivious about it. The knight thought about trying to stop the wedding, but he couldn't do it. Arthur trusted him. Gwen never would forgive him if he did something to hurt Arthur, and Merlin… he probably would turn him into a frog.

What he had felt was in the heat of the moment after hearing Merlin say he was going to leave Camelot because he couldn't bear to see Arthur with someone else. It was almost what Lady Morgana did.

They didn't talk much about Lady Morgana in Camelot. Few knew she had a gift like Merlin, and even fewer knew the reason for her departure.

King Arthur had sent her an invitation to the wedding, but nobody knew if she would come.

Lancelot decided he had better ask Merlin about his departure. If Merlin left, Lancelot would be alone. The pain was bearable with Merlin by his side. Not because they were having physical contact; Merlin kept his promise to Arthur. But Merlin accompanied him in his agony. If the magician went away, Lancelot would surely break.

Watching Merlin running around his room, Lancelot smiled gently. He always had something to do.

"Lancelot!" Merlin caught sight of the knight in the door frame.

"Hello, my lord." Lancelot made a small reverence.

"Don't call me that. You know I hate it," complained Merlin "What can I do for you?"

_Stop the pain, please_, thought Lancelot.

"I was wondering about your plans after the wedding." Lancelot decided to just get to the point.

Merlin stopped his movements and stood very still. Lancelot almost thought he was enchanted.

"Why?" Merlin frowned. "Did you hear something?"

"No, I was just curious."

Lancelot knew he could lie better than that, and apparently Merlin thought so too since he kept frowning. But neither said anything, and Merlin took a small bottle from his cabinet.

"Lancelot, sometimes the heart demands things we can't have. You know that, right?"

"Yes. However, there are things you can have, but other people could get hurt if you took them."

"You have to choose whether you are willing to get what your heart asks and hurt the people you swore to protect, or whether you will let your heart get broken and keep your promise."

"What is your choice, Merlin?"

Merlin didn't answer; he just stood in front of Lancelot with that sad smile.

"Do what you feel is right, Lancelot," Merlin said, almost whispering. "This is a sleeping potion. I use it when Arthur can't rest after a battle. It last eight hours and my cabinet is never locked. It's all I can do for you."

Merlin approached the cabinet again, and put the small bottle on the bottom shelf.

Lancelot would be the villain. There was no other choice.

* * *

The wedding was only hours away, and the castle was in chaos. Giving the knights instructions about the event, Lancelot felt like he was suffocating.

"Lady Morgana!" Lancelot heard one of the maids yelling.

Turning around from the main hall, he saw a few servants running to the front gate. Then the King entered the main hall, smiling widely.

"Lancelot! My sister has honored us with her presence. Would you please help her?"

"Of course, sire."

Stepping out of the castle, Lancelot saw Morgana surrounded by three maids.

"We all missed you, my lady!"

"Did you have a good time on your trip?"

"You look great, my Lady."

"Thank you." Lancelot watched Morgana gesturing at him to get closer.

"My Lady." Lancelot bowed.

"Hello, Lancelot." Lancelot tried not to flinch. The lady's tone was almost like ice. "I take it Arthur sent you to help me."

"Yes, my lady."

"Well, I don't need you. Please go help Arthur with something."

Even though Lancelot knew he was not Lady Morgana's favorite person, she had never treated him this coldly. That made Lancelot apprehensive. He knew the lady had premonitory dreams. Was she aware of his plans?

"Don't be rude, Morgana," interrupted a male voice, "you just got here."

"Merlin. You look exactly the same as you did when I left."

"You left only for six months, Morgana," Merlin chuckled. "I don't think that merits big changes."

"Oh, the greater changes are not the ones visible, dear Merlin." Morgana glanced from Merlin to Lancelot.

"You enjoy being this cryptic, right?" Merlin frowned.

"I learned it from you, Mister 'The dragon told me to do it'."

"Well, it did. However I don't think it had this in mind when he told me to be near Arthur."

"Yeah, this wedding is hardly what anyone expected." Morgana spat out, surprising the maids around her.

"Morgana!" warned Merlin.

"What? I came. That should be enough," she defended herself. "I don't have to agree with this. It's enough that I'm in the front row of this disaster."

"Okay, that's enough." Merlin took her arm, pushing Morgana into the castle.

Lancelot didn't know if he should felt relieved that Lady Morgana was not in agreement with this marriage or scared that she seemed to be aware of his plans.

* * *

Lady Morgana kept looking at him. Lancelot tried not to fidget every time he caught the glances from her. He felt disarmed before those eyes. Merlin seemed to notice this too as he smiled at Lancelot in an attempt to minimize the lady's glares.

This had to be the most uncomfortable dinner Lancelot had ever seen. The future Queen barely looked at Lady Morgana, and the King also avoided her eyes. Merlin was the only one who had the courage to actually converse with her.

"What did you bring me from your trip, Morgana?" Merlin tried to sound cheerful.

"A rope so you can hang yourself when Arthur finally tires you out," she said.

"Very funny," the King muttered.

"Gwen, you have been awfully quiet this evening," Morgana said casually. "Is something wrong? If you didn't want me at your _wedding_, you should have told Arthur not to invite me."

"Of course we are glad to have you here, Lady Morgana." Gwen didn't look up. "We missed you."

"Don't count me in that," Arthur scowled.

"Merlin, what about you? I heard you and Lancelot are the next ones on the wedding list." Morgana sounded calm.

Lancelot almost dropped his glass after hearing Morgana's words. Merlin was wide-eyed and the King looked positively murderous.

"You heard wrong." Merlin coughed lightly. "And you should know better than listen to gossip."

"Well, around Camelot, gossip is always more reliable."

"Enough, Morgana," warned Arthur.

"You sound just like Merlin," Morgana complained. "Last time I checked, you two encouraged me to speak my mind."

"That was clearly a mistake." Arthur shook his head.

"There are a lot of mistakes going around here lately" Morgana stood up "If you'll excuse me I'm going to my room. Tomorrow is going to be a very exhausting day. I predict I will need all the rest I can get. I don't even need magic to know that."

Lancelot noticed how everyone at the table looked as Lady Morgana exited the room. Silence filled the rest of the dinner.

* * *

Sighing, Lancelot held the small bottle in his hand with determination. He had to stop this. He couldn't let everyone sacrifice their happiness for a Kingdom. He had had a taste of love's bliss in Gwen's lips. He couldn't let that go. He couldn't forget about it, and pretend he was happy for her and Arthur.

He was not happy. He was angry, he was frustrated… he was in love. And like Merlin was fond of saying, love makes you do stupid things.

Lancelot knew he couldn't turn back now. He had made his choice.

Knocking softly in Gwen's door, he heard the low 'Come in' from the other side. Entering, he saw Gwen by the window, looking sadly through it.

"Lancelot." She seemed surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought you a cup of tea. I thought it could help you rest for the night, my Queen."

"Oh, don't call me that," Gwen tried to smile. "I'm not the Queen yet."

"You said it, my lady… 'yet'." Lancelot struggled with the tightness in his throat.

"Thank you, Lancelot." Gwen took the cup from the knight's hands, and when their fingers touched, they both maintained the contact longer than necessary.

This was what they had been reduced to? Light touches in closed rooms, like they were wrong just for being in love? Lancelot couldn't pretend any more. He was not as strong as Arthur or as faithful as Merlin. He was selfish and cowardly.

He was stealing what he wanted even when he knew it would tear them down.

* * *

Morgana watched everyone carefully while they finished with the preparations for the wedding. Arthur was in his chambers, with Merlin by his side, as always.

There was a time when Morgana thought Arthur was going to be an awful king. He was self-centered, spoiled and arrogant. Then Uther died, and Arthur changed. She had even thought Merlin had cast a spell on Arthur, but the magician said it was all Arthur's doing. Perhaps knowing that the kingdom was now on his shoulders caused the fast maturity in her brother. Well, Arthur was not her brother, but she loved him like one.

That was the main reason for her return to Camelot. She didn't care about the wedding or if the kingdom needed an heir. She cared about Arthur. And she was aware that Arthur would need her.

Everyone was ready for the ceremony, and Arthur, in his formal attire created especially for this day, was waiting by the throne. Merlin stood next to him, looking as evenly as he could given the circumstances. He didn't trick Morgana, however if he wanted to believe for a moment that everything would be right, Morgana wouldn't crush his stupid illusions.

Nevertheless, illusions vanished eventually and left the cruel reality.

"Where is Gwen?" Arthur asked Merlin.

"I'll send a maid for her, sire. Perhaps she was detained."

Morgana wondered if everyone in the room was as oblivious as they seemed to be. Lancelot was the notable absent in the Knight's line, and yet around her nobody gave the impression of noticing this.

Leon was taken away by one of the maids, who whispered into his ear. Seeing Leon's face, she knew that Arthur would be broken. As she saw Leon talking quietly to his brother, she noticed how he went pale.

Apparently Merlin had drawn this conclusion too, because he was frowning, trying to find the best way to explain the future Queen's tardiness.

Arthur didn't let him. He put his hand on Merlin's arm and shook his head.

"Thank you all for coming." Arthur sounded calm and oddly resigned. "But I'm afraid there's not going to be a wedding; at least not today."

Without waiting to see the reaction of the crowd, Arthur left the room quickly, followed by Merlin. Leon stood next to Morgana with a sad expression.

"Lancelot took Lady Guinevere. He kidnapped her."

"Perhaps she was taken against her will for now, but by no means she was kidnapped, Sir Leon," said Morgana coolly.

It was done. The decision was made, the future was changed. Lancelot had tainted their destiny.

* * *

Morgana was passing by Arthur's room to see if she could do something for her brother. Seeing Merlin holding Arthur by the waist while he faced his window sorrowfully, she just stood by the door watching the scene. It could be romantic if not for the previous events.

"Arthur, you need to let her go." Morgana heard Merlin talking lowly, almost whispering.

"They betrayed me. I gave them the opportunity to back out of this, and they chose to fool me."

"Love makes you do the stupidest things. You should know that." Merlin pressed a small kiss on Arthur's shoulder.

"I'll never forgive them. They are dead to me."

"Arthur…"

"I'll never forgive them" repeated Arthur angrily "and you better stop talking about it."

"Gwen didn't have a choice. She was taken, she didn't go willingly."

"I said you stop talking about it!" Arthur turned around violently, taking Merlin by the waist with force. Morgana saw Merlin wince from the pain.

Morgana closed the door when she saw how roughly Arthur was kissing Merlin. Biting and bruising him. It was clear that the King needed to unleash all his frustrations, and Merlin, the always loyal friend, was there to help him.

Nevertheless, as she walked away from Arthur's room, Morgana understood why Merlin was letting Arthur get his way. He felt guilty and thought he should be punished too. He knew what Lancelot planned. He knew, and he didn't do anything to stop him.

Morgana knew this because it was her who had told Merlin what would happen this day. She dreamt about it, and instead of informing Arthur, she spoke to Merlin, expecting him to warn Lancelot and stop him before it was too late.

Merlin felt guilty and Morgana agreed. For the first time, the magician let his feelings cloud his judgment. And it broke Arthur's heart.

* * *

Morgana followed Merlin the next day, seeing him wincing and trying to cover the bruises from Arthur's treatment. Even though she thought Merlin was also responsible for what happened yesterday, that didn't mean she approved of the way Arthur took out all his frustrations and bitterness. Merlin had made a mistake, but he could hardly be the only one who should pay the price. Morgana had warned them this was a stupid idea. That's why she went away until the wedding day. She couldn't watch them drown because they were far too noble to do what the heart wanted. She had advised them not to do it, and yet they went along with this disastrous plan.

Seeing Merlin sighing tiredly against one of the corridors, Morgana believed the person suffering the most was the one who least deserved it.

"Are you going to follow me all day? Or are you finally telling me how right you were?" Merlin didn't bother opening his eyes.

"I don't kick someone when he is already down, dear Merlin," Morgana smiled.

"Since when?" Merlin joked.

"How are you feeling? Do you need something?" Morgana stood next to Merlin, imitating his pose.

"I'm fine. It's nothing I can't handle."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Morgana pushed down gently the scarf around Merlin's neck, showing his bruises.

"You told me. You told me and I left my selfishness interfere."

"Yes, I told you. And yes, you are to blame too. But not because you decided to let things happen. You are to blame because you agreed to this. You agreed for Arthur to marry Gwen, when you knew how destructive love can be. I know, Merlin. I know because I loved her too."

"And you didn't do anything."

"Because she didn't love _me_. If Gwen returned my feelings, I assure you I would have never accepted that she married Arthur. I would have fought."

They kept quiet for a while, neither of them knowing what to say when the mistakes were already made.

"The traitor was seen in one of the east villages," said one voice above them.

Merlin glanced at Morgana, who put her index finger on her mouth, indicating to keep silent so they could listen to the servants.

"And Lady Gwen? Has anybody has seen her?"

"No, but they said she went voluntarily with the traitor. Come on; don't tell me you didn't catch the looks they always shared during meals. Those two were cheating on the King for months. I hope the King finds them and then kills them."

"Don't say that. We shouldn't judge, besides Gwen was one of us for such a long time. She is a nice girl. Her only sin is being too naïve."

"Yeah, those are the worst. Let's hope for that man to never show up around Camelot, because the knights aren't the only ones with the mission to make him pay. Anyone who crosses paths with that traitor is going to get revenge for our King."

Eventually the voices died down and Morgana noticed how pale and sad Merlin looked.

"Everyone calls Lancelot 'traitor', did you know?" said Merlin finally.

"Yes, I heard the servants talking."

"There are people who try to understand Lancelot's reasons and are somehow less hard on him. And there are those who condemn him for stealing the King's fiancée and want his head. But they all call him a 'traitor'. Nobody uses his name any more. Lancelot is now the traitor. When I heard Leon telling the knights about the 'traitor to the crown', I almost wanted to punch Arthur. But then, how can I blame him? He was stabbed in the back by the people he trusted most."

"Including you?" Morgana looked directly into Merlin's eyes.

"Including me." Merlin knew he could not lie to Morgana. "Arthur must hate me too, he hasn't cut my head off yet because he is afraid to be alone."

"Don't be ridiculous Merlin. Don't wallow in self pity, it doesn't suit you. Even though it was wrong how things turned out, it is still right that Arthur didn't marry Gwen. A marriage without love was bound for disaster anyway. Imagine in ten years, Lancelot finally snapping for all the love he has to give. It would have broken both Arthur and Lancelot."

"Morgana… I think this still broke Arthur and Lancelot." Merlin sounded defeated.

"Perhaps, but at least now you all have the chance to heal your wounds."

Nonetheless, Morgana knew some wounds never heal.

Arthur had been training almost every day, pretending he was fine about being stood up at the altar when his most trusted knight took his fiancée away. Morgana was familiar with this side of Arthur. Since he was a small child, he was educated to pretend to be fine even when he felt destroyed. _Pretending_ was the favorite way of living in Camelot.

Pretending to love your best friend. Pretending to be okay with the person you love the most marrying another. Pretending Camelot still had its kind and happy king. Everyone acted like nothing happened in front of Arthur. The knights didn't dare mention Lancelot, the servants only gossiped when Arthur was out of hearing range, and whenever anyone saw Arthur on an errand or just riding his horse, they smiled kindly and made small talk with him.

In front of Arthur, they all pretended everything was fine. Behind his back, they all knew that it would never be that way again.

* * *

Merlin was searching for something in his magic book when Morgana finally found him. She was worried; it was the first time she heard Arthur saying he didn't know where Merlin was when he asked for him. Arthur always knew Merlin's whereabouts.

"What are you doing?" Morgana leaned down to see the book too.

Merlin turned around, looking guilty. Morgana then saw the title of the page.

'_To make someone forget_'

"Oh, Merlin," Morgana sighed, knowing her friend's intention.

"I promised to protect Arthur," justified Merlin.

"This is not the way to do it, Merlin. Magic is not the solution to every problem." Morgana's tone was disapproving.

"This comes from the woman who always uses her dreams to her advantage" Merlin shot back. Morgana looked affronted "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"You sure mean it like that, Merlin. I see everyone is showing their true colors around here lately. All it took was a betrayal for the masks to come off."

"It's not the betrayal, it's the pain that causes that." Merlin rubbed his eyes tiredly. "He can't go on like this, Morgana."

"Neither can you."

Morgana took Merlin's hand gently, squeezing it lightly.

"Don't let him take you down too. If you fall, all will be lost. You are the only one who can make things better."

"I don't know how. If I do this spell and Arthur forgets everything, perhaps we can have another chance for happiness. His resentment is consuming him."

"Arthur is too emotional for his own good. He didn't love Gwen, yet he is hurt by her betrayal."

"I think he feels she and Lancelot are really happy, living their love without any complications."

"If he really feels that then he is an idiot."

Merlin put his fingers in the book's page, running them down slowly.

"Even if I do the spell, it won't work, right?"

Morgana wanted to lie. She honestly wished she could tell Merlin what he wanted to hear, but it went against her nature.

"No. The mind will go blank, but the heart… the heart always remembers, Merlin."

Morgana knew what memory spells did. The person probably didn't have images in their head, but they sure had feelings in their heart. Hate, love, loneliness, bitterness. Arthur would forget who Lancelot and Guinevere were, but his heart would recall the sadness and hatred he carried.

The heart always remembers.

* * *

The castle felt empty now. Arthur was the shadow of the kind and strong king he once was. Looking through the window, Morgana saw the knights training. Well, mostly they were being beating by Arthur, who now thought was best to just unleash his wrath and to hell with everybody else.

Deciding she needed to stop this, Morgana walked directly to the training field, glaring at every servant who crossed her path. She was tired of all the whisperings and rumors that followed every member of the royalty. First it was Uther. Now it was Arthur. They were humans beings too (well, Morgana thought Uther was a close thing to a human), they were not perfect. Morgana always believed the noble people were the most flawed.

Watching how Arthur knocked down Sir Leon and was going to attack Sir Gawain, Morgana was selfishly glad for Gwen. She had escaped a miserable life surrounded by luxury but lacking love and honesty. Morgana didn't know what Gwen's decision would have been since it was taken away from her and she was now confronted with a life of poverty with love, but she liked to think that Guinevere would have decided to go away with Lancelot anyway.

If you could choose between love and luxury, the most romantic answer was love, however the decision commonly taken is luxury. Morgana thought that maybe Gwen was the romantic type.

"Are you done, Arthur?" Morgana interrupted the attack to Gawain.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur didn't even bother looking at Morgana.

"We need to talk. Finish your stupid training."

"Are you forgetting who the King is? I don't take orders from you."

"You never took orders anyway. You are far too stubborn to be capable of following simple instructions. Do I need to spell it out for you? Either you finish this training, or you face up to me in combat."

The knights froze in their place, looking almost appalled by Morgana's words. Arthur only looked at her with boredom. It was like talking to a wall.

"Leave us alone," ordered Morgana.

Sir Leon glanced at Arthur, expecting the orders from the one who really mattered. That bugged Morgana endlessly. She may not be a princess or a queen, but she could still kick Sir Leon's arse if she wanted to. Now seemed like a good time to prove her point.

Arthur nodded, and Sir Leon gave the order to the knights, who almost ran away from the place, fearing the upcoming confrontation.

"What do you want, Morgana?" Arthur glared at her. "Even better, why you are still here? Didn't you leave because you wanted to travel around or something foolish like that?"

"You know very well why I left, Arthur. I never wished this."

"Still happened. Wishing things is stupid anyway, Morgana."

"You knew it was wrong. You didn't love her."

"You did, and you left her."

"She didn't love me back. I let her go."

"Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I wanted it all, and lost it."

"You haven't lost everything, Arthur. You still have Merlin."

"I don't deserve Merlin. He is too pure for my hate."

"Then stop hating," said Morgana disdainfully, making Arthur show a small smile.

"This is like old times."

"Yeah, and I can still beat you down."

"You wish" Arthur smirked. "I usually left you win because father ordered me to."

"Whatever you say to sleep at night, Arthur." Morgana put her hand on Arthur's cheek. "You need to stop this."

"I can't." Arthur looked truly torn. "I know it was for the best. Deep down I didn't want a child to grow up in a loveless marriage. My father had his flaws, but he loved my mother intensely. I think he loved her until the day he died. But the betrayal, the hurt… the pain… those feelings don't go away with every passing day. They grow intense. I feel like I'm in a nightmare when every day I relive that blasted day. And I see Merlin… and I feel like an idiot. How come I have the person I love the most, and yet I can't be happy?"

"Would it make you feel better if you captured Lancelot and Guinevere, and then cut their heads off?"

"Don't you dare to say that name in my face again!" warned Arthur dangerously.

"Which one? Lancelot? Guinevere?" Morgana knew she was baiting Arthur, but she couldn't help it. Some things never change.

Arthur looked murderous. Morgana had hit the right button.

"Just answer me, Arthur. Would it make you feel better if you punished them?" Morgana decided to stop pushing Arthur.

"I don't know, maybe. Maybe I just need them to be as miserable as I am. If I can't enjoy my love, then they shouldn't either."

Morgana groaned; always the spoiled Prince.

"You could enjoy your love. Even after what you have done to Merlin, he is still standing faithfully by your side. You two need to stop this nonsense and get over this."

"Easy for you to say, you weren't the one left at the altar."

"No, I was the one rejected. If I could be in your place Arthur, I would value having the one I love. You don't know what it is to really lose everything. I do."

Arthur turned around, leaving Morgana on the training field. Morgana saw the emptiness in Arthur's eyes when he talked about Merlin. He said he still loved him, but his eyes showed something different, and that was what Morgana feared.

When Uther was in charge, he decided to be against magic because he honestly believed that it was dangerous to Camelot. Morgana didn't blame him for that, but for the cruelty of his actions. Arthur was different. He trusted magic, because he trusted Merlin. His kingdom was extending and it was strong. Nevertheless, the way Morgana was saw things now, everything would change if Arthur didn't let go of the pain.

Uther banished magic from his kingdom. Arthur was banishing love from his heart. Morgana felt Arthur's choice was the worst.

* * *

Merlin was loosing his patience, Morgana was aware of that. Arthur on defensive mode was the worst. Pushing people away, snapping, and being sarcastic and hurtful. Honestly, if Morgana was in Merlin's place, she would have used magic already and taught Arthur a lesson. But Merlin was nobler. Or dumber, at this point Morgana couldn't tell the difference.

The castle looked dead. The laughter and friendly banter were replaced by whispers and sorrow. Morgana thought living in Uther's kingdom was difficult to bear, and now it looked like paradise compared with how things were now. There was nothing worse than for a proud king to have his confidence taken away. Arthur had trusted Lancelot and he had paid the price. Knowing Arthur, he would not make that mistake twice. Lancelot and Gwen broke Arthur in pieces. Merlin was the one left to put them back together.

The saddest thing was that Merlin was at loss about how to get Arthur back in once piece, when even Merlin was broken.

When Morgana was a child, she heard a lot of stories about Camelot. Everyone said the kingdom was cursed, and whoever ruled was bound to lose everything. Uther lost his wife. In the servants' eyes, Arthur had repeated that fate. Morgana expected Arthur to wake from his stupidity. But of course he had to be stubborn even in this.

Morgana dreamt of the future that night. Once again, she would be the witness of the fall without the power to prevent it.

As Morgana walked around the castle, she wondered if perhaps it was time for her to leave Camelot. Arthur had clearly expressed that she was not needed there (nor wanted), and Merlin… he was oblivious to Morgana's presence. She didn't like the idea of just leaving with everything so damaged, but there was nothing that she could do, and if she wanted to be depressed, she would have stayed during Arthur's engagement and wedding planning.

She saw Merlin standing in front of Arthur in the crown room, and she stood behind the door. It was the first time she had seen them talking for more than a few seconds. Perhaps everything was changing. Perhaps her dreams were wrong.

"Do you want me to go?" Merlin asked with a sad tone.

"I want you to do what you wish, Merlin. You are not tied to Camelot," Arthur said coolly.

"Arthur, do you still love me? Did you ever?"

Arthur kept silent for a few minutes, making Morgana wanting to intrude and slap him hard. Maybe she would.

"I love you, Merlin," Arthur sighed "but you don't deserve this."

"Let me decide what I deserve, Arthur. I miss you. You haven't touched me… you haven't even talked to me. I'm still here, can't you see me?"

"I'm a bitter man. If I touch you, I would take all my feelings out on you. You don't deserve to be hurt because of others' doings."

"I'm strong enough. I can take it. Don't push me away because you think I won't be able to endure your sorrow. I love you; I am here to help you."

"You don't understand. Maybe you can take it, and maybe you even want to. But I don't. I don't want to be the one hurting you. I can't tie you here, when I can't promise you anything. I don't know when I will get through this, if I ever do."

"Don't do this, Arthur. Please…"

Merlin took Arthur's face in his hands, looking directly at his eyes. Morgana could see the love and devotion of the magician, and Arthur looked torn.

"Perhaps it would be best if you just leave, Merlin. There's no future for you in chaining yourself to a broken man."

It took all Morgana's self-control to just stay there and not burst into the room to punch them both. She watched how Merlin stepped away from Arthur, smiling sadly. Without saying another word, Merlin turned back and walked to the door. Morgana was about to leave too, trying not to be seen by Merlin, but then she noticed how Merlin was looking directly at her, even though the door was blocking part of the view. She could see right through the door, and she wondered if it was Merlin's doing.

"Your wish is… my command," whispered Merlin, getting out on the hallway and heading in the opposite direction to where Morgana was standing.

Morgana knew then that the message was only for her to hear.

* * *

Two days later Morgana heard a loud knock on her door.

"Lady Morgana! Lady Morgana!"

It was one of the maids. When she opened the door, she saw the woman almost in tears.

"Lady Morgana! The King…!"

Arthur? Morgana frowned, but then she heard a loud crash and a strong bump. Running to Arthur's chamber, she saw Leon already standing outside.

"Lady Morgana, you don't want to go in there. The King… he is…"

"I don't care, Leon. He could get hurt. I'm going to stop him."

"Please, at least let me go with you so I can protect you."

"I can take care of myself Leon. I have been dealing with Arthur's temper since he was a child."

Morgana entered the room quickly, closing the door and expecting to see Arthur throwing something directly at her. The room was trashed, but Arthur was already sitting on the floor, looking defeated.

"Arthur…" Morgana got closer carefully.

"What? Get out Morgana. I don't want to see anyone."

"Pity. What's wrong? If you didn't like your room, there are better ways to redecorate it."

Arthur just kept looking at the floor. Morgana knew this was something big.

"Merlin left."

"What?"

"He left." Arthur put his hand in his tunic, taking out a small piece of paper. "He didn't even say goodbye. He just left this note."

Morgana took the note from Arthur's hand. '_I'll return when you heal._'

"Arthur…"

"It was for the best, I told him to leave."

"But he is going to return, he said it."

"He said he will do it when I heal. Now I don't know if I will heal at all."

Morgana wanted to say a lot of things. She wanted to rub Arthur's face in how she had warned him. She wanted to smack him for being an idiot. She wanted to yell at him to go after Merlin. But seeing how Arthur was letting the tears run down his cheeks, she kept silent.

It was the first time Arthur cried since he became the King of Camelot. Now he had really lost it all.

* * *

Morgana knew Merlin took his magic book with him. She also knew how she had lectured Merlin that using magic for making things better was not the answer. She sighed, and took an old sheet of paper from under her pillow.

'_To make someone forget_'

It would be too late when Merlin found the missing spell in the book. She knew she was a hypocrite to be using this. But she preferred being a hypocrite than an observer.

She had the power to make everything right again. This time, she would act against her dreams.

This time she would rewrite destiny too.


End file.
